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“I Am A Better Victim Than You”: Black women who stand on the back of their sisters. 

It’s disheartening and also infuriating to see how sisters are so quick to cut each other down, especially knowing that we are damn near all we got. I’m disappointed.”

It sure is and some of us are realizing that we can’t support ALL black women, because so many have internalized misogynoir.

LIBERATED BLACK WOMAN

“I’m a better Victim Than You”

Something I just scrolled past on a post about Nate Parker was a black woman stating that black women shouldn’t boycott his film, because “she was a victim of rape and she supports him.” This ain’t the first time that I have heard or seen something like this. A woman dismissing another woman’s trauma in order to validate her solidarity to a black man in the midst of scandal. When I said I am starting to realize the true gender war is between women, I wasn’t playing. Another example. The other day I got into a heated argument with a woman about a personal matter. I told her she needed to be accountable for her actions, in turn she states, “you tried to commit suicide, that’s why you aren’t in the military”. Despite this not being a factual statement, when she said this…

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LET’S TALK ABOUT IT: MAMMIES

If a black man is calling another black man a simp, it usually means he (the “simp”) is doing something right in my experience, lol.

LIBERATED BLACK WOMAN

The other day I had a vent post about my constant encounters with black female MAMMIES in a group. When I’ve encountered similar women before, I didnt know what to call them. I’ve seen black men talk about similar men (SIMPS), and it wasn’t until recently, that I realized these women are the female equivalent of these men. What is a MAMMY (a.k.a black misogynist sympathizer)? These are women with biases that only allows them to sympathize with black men. Even when exposed to the destrcutive and abusive behaviors in black men, they will often take on “Mammie roles”, by coddling them or justifying their behavior. Even at the expense of the victim of their abuse.I have been seeing alot of relentless attacks against black women in many groups and pages by using scapegoating tactics as a way to blame black women SOLELY for their failed relationships with black men…

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DON’T FORGET ABOUT US: Black Daughters/Girls

When your mother is jealous, misogynistic, sexist, and patriarchal-minded and knee-deep in religion (which is apart of black women’s oppression also) it is difficult to have a good relationship with her. I can’t relate.

LIBERATED BLACK WOMAN

Our Black daughters need to be seen, heard and not ignored.

Yesterday morning I was listening to the V103 morning show on my way to school and the topic of conversation was about a caller (a woman) seeking advice about what to do about helping her mother. She felt her mother was being taken advantage of by family members and was conflicted between living her life or saving her mother from her situation. They were following up with her (her letter was read days prior, something similar to “Strawberry Letters”), because of the massive response they received from their listeners.

The radio hosts spoke on how surprising it was to see many responses they received from women speaking out about how hard it was to listen to this woman’s story. Many women have even came to the hosts personally in many ways, crying about their own dysnfuntional relationships with their…

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BLACK WOMEN DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT. 

Excellent commentary!

LIBERATED BLACK WOMAN

A woman can not operate in her full feminine power without ensuring she can be provided and protected for. If a woman isnt, she has to come out of her element to make sure she can survive. This is why many brothers complain of black women being too “masculine”, yet want sisters to be their gun blazing warriors in combat boots, and pay their bills. While dating shouldn’t come with a “price tag”, if we let men know that their money is not a factor in securing the relationship, I see many bm become comfortable and eventually unmotivated to strive for greatness. They won’t have to if we set a low standard that financial security is not important.


This is why I am careful when I speak of what a man “doesn’t have to do”, because you’ll notice the men you attract will the ones that couldn’t anyway. Sometimes black…

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“Twenty-four years ago I was raped at gunpoint in the cold, dark backroom of the Payless shoe store where I was then working. Two years ago I signed on to a brilliant script called “The Birth of a Nation,” to play a woman who was raped. One month ago I was sent a story about Nate Parker, the very talented writer, director and star of this film. Seventeen years ago Nate Parker was accused and acquitted of sexual assault. Four years ago the woman who accused him committed suicide. Different roads circling one brutal, permeating stain on our society. A stain that is finely etched into my own history. Rape is a wound that throbs long after it heals. And for some of us the throbbing gets too loud. Post traumatic stress syndrome is very real and chips away at the soul and sanity of so many of us who have survived sexual violence.  Since Nate Parker’s story was revealed to me, I have found myself in a state of stomach-churning confusion. I took this role because I related to the experience. I also wanted to give a voice to my character, who remains silent throughout the film. In her silence, she represents countless black women who have been and continue to be violated. Women without a voice, without power. Women in general. But black women in particular. I knew I could walk out of our movie and speak to the audience about what it feels like to be a survivor…As important and ground-breaking as this film is, I cannot take these allegations lightly.”  — Marcus I. Washington v. William Morris Endeavor Entertainment (formerly the William Morris Agency, Endeavor Talent Agency, IMG, etc.), Jeff Meade & Sarah Van Hoven

Source: Gabrielle Union. “‘Birth of a Nation’ Actress Gabrielle Union: I Cannot Take Nate Parker Rape Allegations Lightly.” L.A. Times. September 2, 2016. http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-union-nate-parker-birth-nation-rape-allegation-20160902-snap-story.html

via “Twenty-four years ago I was raped at gunpoint in the cold, dark backroom of the Payless shoe store where I was then working. Two years ago I signed on to a brilliant script called “The Birth of a Nation,” to play a woman who was raped. One month ago I was sent a story about Nate Parker, the very talented writer, director and star of this film. Seventeen years ago Nate Parker was accused and acquitted of sexual assault. Four years ago the woman who accused him committed suicide. Different roads circling one brutal, permeating stain on our society. A stain that is finely etched into my own history. Rape is a wound that throbs long after it heals. And for some of us the throbbing gets too loud. Post traumatic stress syndrome is very real and chips away at the soul and sanity of so many of us who have survived sexual violence.  Since Nate Parker’s story was revealed to me, I have found myself in a state of stomach-churning confusion. I took this role because I related to the experience. I also wanted to give a voice to my character, who remains silent throughout the film. In her silence, she represents countless black women who have been and continue to be violated. Women without a voice, without power. Women in general. But black women in particular. I knew I could walk out of our movie and speak to the audience about what it feels like to be a survivor…As important and ground-breaking as this film is, I cannot take these allegations lightly.”  — Marcus I. Washington v. William Morris Endeavor Entertainment (formerly the William Morris Agency, Endeavor Talent Agency, IMG, etc.), Jeff Meade & Sarah Van Hoven

Homeland Security investigate Leslie Jones website hack — New York’s PIX11 / WPIX-TV

Homeland Secuity is investigating the hack of Leslie Jones’ website. LOS ANGELES — U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement and Homeland Security investigators said Thursday they are investigating the hack of Leslie Jones’ website that revealed several private details of the actress-comedian’s life. ICE said Thursday that its New York office is investigating the hack that…

via Homeland Security investigate Leslie Jones website hack — New York’s PIX11 / WPIX-TV

I’m Not Your Mammy, Mule, Nor Mama!: How Society Take Advantage of the Black Woman’s Motherly Nature

 

It has long been confirmed by the scientific community that The Original Black Woman is the Mother of All Humanity. Black Women as the Original Matriarch of the planet have a natural loving, nurturing, and caring nature towards ALL humans often times at our own detriment. This is why many black women feel the need to step in offering support and assistance  and be ‘mama’ to EVERYONE when they are  in trouble (e.g., facing discrimination or injustices based upon race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, sexuality, etc.); bearing everyone’s burdens and of the world including our own, yet many if not most of these same people we support come up M.I.A. (missing in action) when Black Women are facing discrimination, injustices, unfair treatment or burdened (e.g. depressed, angry, sad) and are in need of support and assistance.

This is when being ‘mama’ and ‘motherly’ turns into mammy-muling which is offering support and assistance to those who do not reciprocate. Black Women have proven ourselves to be the most loyal and supportive people on the planet due our ‘motherly nature,’ however many if not the majority of us are loyal and supportive to a fault, demanding no reciprocation for our our loyalty, time, physical and spiritual support, and resources to people who hate black womanhood, femininity, and humanity. This is how we let our ‘motherly nature’ work against us. In addition, this is why people continue to take advantage of Black Women, including friends and family. It’s a never ending cycle because many of us refuse to see it and then wonder why we remain in the lowly wretched social position, making no progression towards liberation while helping others get theirs liberation. Prime example, in the area of social justice, many use black women’s voices, feet, time, energy and resources to help carry themselves to liberation without thinking about reciprocating. Or in our personal lives carrying freeloading or leeching family members or friends who do not offer NOTHING but their ass to kiss in return.

Despite what many Black Women erroneously think, simply offering services and support out of the “kindness your heart” and our natural need to be ‘motherly’ is not going to get people who hate you to like, love, nor reward you. They will simply use you and use you like an old dirty dust rag as long as YOU allow it.

Yes, Black Women are the Mothers of Humanity in the sense that humanity was birthed from the sacred Black Womb, however we are not obligated to bear and carry the burdens of society and the black community all alone. We are also not obligated to make other people’s issues our own especially, especially considering the very poor state of the Black Woman and Girl Collectives. Black Women and Girls suffer from the what I call the 12 D’s, Misses and the Disses: We are the most misunderstood, mis-educated, misrepresented, misguided, mistreated, disrespected, discarded, disregarded, dismissed, demeaned, degraded, and devalued group on the planet. We have NO business concerning ourselves with the concerns of others especially, especially those who do not care about us.

We need to get REAL busy working on some serious healing and eliminating our issues like internalized racism, sexism, colorism, misogynoir, depression, anger, loneliness, sadness, helplessness, fear, anxiety, etc. We are ONLY obligated to take care of ourselves and our biological children and teenagers (if you have any).

Being mammy, mule, or ‘mama’ IS NOT WORKING NOR WILL HELP Black Women, NEVER. It will only cause (or help hurry along)  mental, spiritual, and emotional…..and sometimes physical death. Sometimes mothers need to be nurtured, loved, and cared for and if any body is to be taken care of THE MOST it is ‘THE MOTHER, HER FIRST AND FOREMOST, THE ORIGINAL BLACK WOMAN.’ AS THE FIRST AND ORIGINAL MOTHERS AND MATRIARCHS, WE MUST DEMAND AND COMMAND TO BE NURTURED, LOVED, AND CARED FOR.

As Black Women we need to sit back and examine how our ‘motherly nature’ work against us not for us. Don’t let it get the best of you to the point that you are offering loyalty, support, and resources up so freely to the undeserving. For once, put your selves  FIRST AND FOREMOST. We need to adopt a NO LOYALTY OR SUPPORT WITH OUT RECIPROCATION POLICY for anyone who wants our loyalty and support. DO NOT offer it until you have put them to several tests  proving. themselves worthy.

“I’m not you mammy, mule, nor mamma!

 

The “Angry Black woman” narrative applied to black female victims of violence.

The reaction to Korryn Gaines story proves the racial stereotyping of black women by society, of black women being crazy, automatically violent and barbaric (aka the angry black woman) just by first impression. We never get the benefit of the doubt. People had no problem going by whatever article they saw and they immediately fell into “well she had it coming” narrative. Going out of their way to make sure they prove she had it coming.

Absolutely different approach when the victims are black men or other groups, where people are yelling “I don’t care what they say I don’t believe it”. Everyone collectively is using the article to sway their opinion, but when it is black men or other groups people always use their hearts, emotions and own intuition to sway their opinion because “others” are seen as people, black women are seen as subhuman who deserve our fate. There was no second guessing the situation or anything, they read one line and decided she deserved it. Same details people defend against for the humanity of the victim when he or they are not a black woman.

There are stories of murders who are white, male and others who actually shoot and kill people who are humanized in headlines immediately “He was a loner, she was a struggling mother, he had a 4.0 gpa so what happened” type headlines. But a black woman, with pics of her doing nothing but smiling and be joyful, immediately set off a chain of presumptions, based on one article. Something black women deal with daily.

Same thing that happened to the black girl in school who was roughed up for doing nothing. (Studies show black girls are more likely to be punished in schools even more than black boys). Not fighting back, not resisting, but people automatically assumed she was a unruly black girl who are like those other unruly black girls so she deserved it. Her school mates many black even took up for the cop.

The racist Angry black woman narrative has created this halo of prejudgment that has allowed black women to never been seen as victims or people deserving of protection and value.-Fed Up Black Woman, Tumblr