I’m Not Your Mammy, Mule, Nor Mama!: How Society Take Advantage of the Black Woman’s Motherly Nature


It has long been confirmed by the scientific community that The Original Black Woman is the Mother of All Humanity. Black Women as the Original Matriarch of the planet have a natural loving, nurturing, and caring nature towards ALL humans often times at our own detriment. This is why many black women feel the need to step in offering support and assistance  and be ‘mama’ to EVERYONE when they are  in trouble (e.g., facing discrimination or injustices based upon race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, sexuality, etc.); bearing everyone’s burdens and of the world including our own, yet many if not most of these same people we support come up M.I.A. (missing in action) when Black Women are facing discrimination, injustices, unfair treatment or burdened (e.g. depressed, angry, sad) and are in need of support and assistance.

This is when being ‘mama’ turns into mammy muling which is offering support and assistance to those who do not reciprocate. Black Women have proven ourselves to be the most loyal and supportive people on the planet due our ‘motherly nature,’ however many if not the majority of us are loyal and supportive to a fault, demanding no reciprocation for our our loyalty, time, physical and spiritual support, and resources to people who hate black womanhood, humanity, and femininity. This is how we let the ‘motherly nature’ work against us. In addition, this is why people continue to take advantage of Black Women, including friends and family. It’s a never ending cycle because many of us refuse to see it and then wonder why we remain in the same wretched position, making no progression towards liberation while helping others get theirs liberation. For example, in the area of social justice, many use black women’s voices, feet, time, energy and resources to help carry themselves to liberation without thinking about reciprocating financially or physically. Or in our personal lives carrying freeloading or leeching family members who do not offer NOTHING in return.

Despite what many Black Women erroneously think, simply offering services and support out of the “kindness your heart” and the ‘motherly nature’ is not going to get people who hate you to like, love, nor reward you. They will simply use you and use you like an old dirty dust rag as long as YOU allow it.

Yes, Black Women are the Mothers of Humanity in the sense that humanity was birthed from the sacred Black Womb, however we are not obligated to bear and carry the burdens of society and the black community all alone. We are also not obligated to make other people’s issues our own especially, especially considering the very poor state of the Black Woman and Girl Collectives. Black Women and Girls suffer from the what I call the 10 D’s, Misses and the Disses: We are the most misunderstood, mis-educated, misrepresented, misguided, disrespected, discarded, disregarded, dismissed, demeaned, degraded, and devalued group on the planet. We have NO business concerning ourselves with the concerns of others especially, especially those who do not care about us. We need to get REAL busy working on eliminating our issues like internalized racism, sexism, colorism, misogynoir, depression, anger, loneliness, sadness, helplessness, fear, anxiety, etc. We are ONLY obligated to take care of ourselves and our biological children and teenagers (if you have any).

Being mammy, mule, or ‘mama’ IS NOT WORKING NOR WILL HELP Black Women, NEVER It will only cause (or help hurry along)  mental, spiritual, and emotional…..and sometimes physical death. Sometimes mothers need to be nurtured, loved, and cared for and if any body is to be taken care of THE MOST is ‘THE MOTHER, HER FIRST AND FOREMOST, THE ORIGINAL BLACK WOMAN.’ AS THE FIRST AND ORIGINAL MOTHERS AND MATRIARCHS, WE MUST DEMAND AND COMMAND TO BE NURTURED, LOVED, AND CARED FOR.

As Black Women we need to sit back and examine how our ‘motherly nature’ work against us not for us. Don’t let it get the best of you to the point that you are offering loyalty, support, and resources up so freely to the undeserving. For once, put your selves  FIRST AND FOREMOST. We need to adopt a NO LOYALTY OR SUPPORT WITH OUT RECIPROCATION POLICY for anyone who wants that from us and DO NOT offer it until they have proven themselves worthy.

If not then declare, “I’m not you mammy, mule, nor mamma!


The “Angry Black woman” narrative applied to black female victims of violence.

The reaction to Korryn Gaines story proves the racial stereotyping of black women by society, of black women being crazy, automatically violent and barbaric (aka the angry black woman) just by first impression. We never get the benefit of the doubt. People had no problem going by whatever article they saw and they immediately fell into “well she had it coming” narrative. Going out of their way to make sure they prove she had it coming.

Absolutely different approach when the victims are black men or other groups, where people are yelling “I don’t care what they say I don’t believe it”. Everyone collectively is using the article to sway their opinion, but when it is black men or other groups people always use their hearts, emotions and own intuition to sway their opinion because “others” are seen as people, black women are seen as subhuman who deserve our fate. There was no second guessing the situation or anything, they read one line and decided she deserved it. Same details people defend against for the humanity of the victim when he or they are not a black woman.

There are stories of murders who are white, male and others who actually shoot and kill people who are humanized in headlines immediately “He was a loner, she was a struggling mother, he had a 4.0 gpa so what happened” type headlines. But a black woman, with pics of her doing nothing but smiling and be joyful, immediately set off a chain of presumptions, based on one article. Something black women deal with daily.

Same thing that happened to the black girl in school who was roughed up for doing nothing. (Studies show black girls are more likely to be punished in schools even more than black boys). Not fighting back, not resisting, but people automatically assumed she was a unruly black girl who are like those other unruly black girls so she deserved it. Her school mates many black even took up for the cop.

The racist Angry black woman narrative has created this halo of prejudgment that has allowed black women to never been seen as victims or people deserving of protection and value.-Fed Up Black Woman, Tumblr

Watch: D.C. Cop Lifts, Pins Petite Black Woman Against SUV — News One

What’s the justification for a male police officer to lift a petite woman off the ground and pin her to a police SUV? The Washington D.C. Metropolitan Police Department is asking that question, Fox 5 reports. A video of the encounter, which happened in Northwest D.C., appeared Monday on Twitter. It shows the uniformed officer,…

via Watch: D.C. Cop Lifts, Pins Petite Black Woman Against SUV — News One

Black women and the prejudgment portrait…


In the wake of the Korryn Gaines story and the Leslie Jones incident where she was attacked by racists online, it leads me to wonder, why are black female victims of anything always viewed as the perpetrator?

In society, and historically, due to racism in America, black people as a collective are seen as more threatening than other races. Back then racist cartoons often depicted black people as subhuman, barbaric and uncivilized. Nothing has changed in modern culture, well, at least not for black women.

When I read the comments under the article (the first one I came across) about Korryn Gaines and how she was executed, I was appalled to see no empathetic comments for the slain victim of police brutality.  No sympathy. She was denied her humanity in front of her child and in the sanctity of her own home.

Korryn Gaines was immediately seen as a angry black woman, who’s masculine, belligerent, and needed to be put in her place, just based on story alone. Most of the comments painting her with such a broad label, came from people who consistently quoted what they read from the article. Before they saw any video of her, her child or anything they made up their minds about how they wanted to see her. They painted a vivid portrait in their minds about what type of black woman they expected her to be, as a reason they believe she deserved her death.

Leslie Jones was also denied her right to be a victim, when someone immediately made a parody account spewing discriminatory comments under her screen name. She had to come on and ask for that account to be suspended and for the person who made to be punished to defend herself. But I also wasn’t shocked by the amount of people who continued to pester her with racist comments and apathetic anger saying they don’t care she deserves it, she’s an embarrassment.

As I sat and read commentary surrounding the verbal abuse she endured I was thoroughly disappointed to hardly see any people from my community defend and protect her. Not even other black women who consider themselves womanists and pro-black woman only. She was so broken and battered mentally and emotionally from racism and misogynoir that she wanted to discontinue her Twitter page. It really bothered me that hardly no one, not black activist, not feminists, no one came to her aid like I expected them to. That’s because Leslie Jones is also a victim of the prejudgment portrait.

This happened once she became a member of SNL. Her characters are often seen as a mockery, and embarrassment. People immediately attached her on screen character to her real life persona and decided this is who she is so they’re going to treat her as such. That is why hardly anyone rushed to  her defense to defend her against the racism she endured because in their minds, she’s the type of black woman they thought she was so she deserved it.

Leslie Jones, Korryn Gaines, and many other black women are always seen as the villain, the bully upon glance. We prejudge black women before they can even open their mouths or before we can even find out who they are. We paint this vivid portrait in our heads of black women as soon as we lay eyes upon one of us. Our misogynoiristic thought bubbles start popping all over the place. “She looks like she may be ghetto”. “She looks like she may be a hoodrat” “She looks like she may be loud” “She looks like she may be a babymama” “She looks like she may be uneducated” “I bet she acts like this” “I bet she acts like that“, the list goes on and on.

We saw this play out with the teenage girl who was pulled from her desk like a rag doll by the school police for doing absolutely nothing. The comments were as expected saying “You know how black women can be, she probably has a loud mouth” “See everybody tired of black women’s mouths” “All she had to do was get up she brought it on herself”, when in the video there’s no proof of her being loud mouthed or doing anything, but that’s the label they decided to associate with her because they painted that prejudgment portrait in their heads.

We saw this with Nicki Minaj during the VMA’s and how she spoke her mind without targeting anyone particular, but other artists decided to respond like  Miley and Taylor, but people considered her the bully, the mean one because how dare she respond at all? When Nicki became a household name under mainstream America she too became a victim of the prejudgment portrait. They saw her image and immediately painted the portrait in their minds that she’s who they think she is so whatever is thrown her way she deserves it.

We see this done with every day black women. The sista at the store with the blue braids is a target of the prejudgment portrait. Be honest with yourselves how many of you do this in your every day life? Prejudge black women by what you see and then make your decision of how you think she is without knowing her?

Yes, this is misogynoir, pure and simple. The intersectionality of racism and sexism. Black women are viewed differently. By black men, white men, other non-black men, black women, white women, and non-black women alike, we’re prejudged before we can even breathe like nobody’s business. We’re woman and we’re black in a society and on a planet that’s both anti-woman and anti-black. In people’s minds a human being that’s a woman and a black person at the same time is a walking billboard for blasphemy. She’s watched like a hawk and dissected like a science project.

Black women are victims of the prejudgement portrait because we’re black and we’re woman. By many people’s logic we’re “GUILTY BY DEFAULT”.

Under this judgment, the black woman is never a victim.-FedupBlackWoman, Tumblr

Black men & black women, riding hard for Kylie while throwing black women under the bus…

The tweets below are small, but I think that you all can make out what is being said. Try clicking on them, I think that will help.


But this is the community ya’ll are fighting for nothing, while they watch someone who looks like you (Leslie Jones) be attacked and abused by racists.-FedUpBlackWoman, Blogspot

If BlackLivesMattered then why didn’t any black people come to Leslie Jone’s defense?

From FedupBlackWoman, Blogspot

Monday, July 18, 2016

In a week of so called crying, tearing up, black pride, fists in the air, protesting against racism, police brutality and white supremacy, my community was dead silent today when Leslie Jones was publicly attacked on social media by vile racists and misogynists.

But then again, black people contribute daily to the demoralization of black women on social media themselves, so I shouldn’t any thing less than these same so called pro-black junkies totally ignoring Leslie being abused with racism today.

No one came to her defense but her teaspoon of celebrity circle, and they didn’t really say much.

Leslie Jones Exposes Racist Twitter Troll Messages: ‘You Won’t Believe the Evil’

The Male-Identified Woman

Posted on July 18, 2011


Encouraging sexism, opposing gender equality, and setting societal progress back centuries. All at a location near you.

The male-identified woman is a woman whose beliefs, mindset, and attitude favor the male gender, often at the expense of the opposite sex. She may be traditional or modern, classically feminine in appearance or more masculine. But all male-identified women support what enhances the status and lives of men, and opposes what increases equality of the genders.

The male-identified woman often comes from a background where the male point of view was greatly emphasized or de-emphasized. In the first case, she may have had a mother who, willingly or unwillingly, took second place to her husband. The male-identified woman learned through her upbringing that a woman must always defer to men and respect their desires.

In the second case, the male-identified woman may have had a father who was absent (physically or mentally) and a mother who was head of the household. She grew to resent her mother’s rule and came to associate with the male presence she never had, finding refuge in the thoughts and actions of men.

The male-identified woman can be found everywhere, and is not difficult to recognize as she tends to be predictable and follows a pattern of behavior. A woman is likely male-identified, if she says or does several of the following:

  • Encourages women to take part in relationship dynamics which advantage mensuch as polygyny and decreased emphasis on female income and education
  • Blames feminism for every male-female issue and/or proclaiming those who disagree with her to be feminists
  • Engages in male-oriented forums or websites
  • Is overly obsequious or fawning over any men around her
  • Claims to have no female friends
  • Joins men in their complaints about women
  • Claims every gender difference is based in biology, especially if that difference favors men
  • Claims that men are naturally advantaged in several areas
  • Argues with women who oppose sexist practices

If you run into a male-identified woman (and you will, if you haven’t already), don’t attempt to argue with her or point out the flaws in her thinking.

Usually the male-identified woman is unaware of just how oriented she is to the male sex. She sees her views and values as “wise” and “common sense”, and competing views as the opposite. She’s likely held her beliefs for years and sees them as the only correct ones. She has no desire to change her mind — in most cases, she will try to change yours.

If you disagree with something the male-identified woman has said or done, the best you can do is offer your point of view and hope that others, and maybe she, can see its merit. Don’t push your views. You don’t need to — for the most part, the male-identified woman is fighting a losing battle.

Source: https://aloftyexistence.wordpress.com/2011/07/18/male-identified-woman/

Viral Video of Arrest of Black Teen Sparks Protest at Madison, Wisc. Mall — Clutch Magazine

YouTube An 18-year-old woman allegedly took out a knife and threatened to kill employees at a mall when the police were called on Tuesday. Genele Laird, of Madison, Wisconsin, told a Taco Bell employee at the East Towne Mall that her phone had been stolen, according to a police report. She then allegedly took out a…

via Viral Video of Arrest of Black Teen Sparks Protest at Madison, Wisc. Mall — Clutch Magazine

Daddy Lessons: What Misogynistic Men are Teaching Their Daughters

 photo beyoncedaddylessons_1.jpg

by KV Thompson

“Don’t let the birth of your black daughter be the first time you respect a black woman” – Always Be Woke on Tumblr

My dad put me on a pedestal. In his eyes, I could do no wrong. I could tell that he cared for me by how present he was in my life. He was at every basketball game, every awards ceremony, every play, anything else that centered around his only daughter.

He respected me as an equal. He believed in my potential so much that many conversations were spent on talking about how much I was going to achieve and how successful I could be. My dad showed me how to be treated by a man, but he was flawed.

How he treated his daughter didn’t always transfer to how he treated women.

My dad was, for a lack of better words, a player. He was charming. Very charming. Growing up I noticed how women gravitated towards him. Women. Plural.

When I was a teenager I witnessed my dad have several women rotating in and out of the house. Sometimes it seemed like he had a new friend for every day of the week.

I don’t want to disclose all of his business (God rest his soul), but I witnessed him exhibit characteristics that he warned me about, the ain’t shit men I should avoid. For me, he was the perfect man. For women he courted (or whatever he was doing), he was exactly the type of man he didn’t want me to end up with.

He taught me to be strong and never fall for the type of man he was to other women. He taught my brothers that women were disposable.

The cognitive dissonance I experienced growing up caused me to rationalize the constant misogynoir I witnessed. Misogynoir from the hands of my father and brothers and close friends and other family members. It seemed all the men I knew were indoctrinated in the same poisoning patriarchal system.

I rationalized, “Maybe those women deserved to be played, but I’m different. I’m my father’s daughter.”

When he died I ended up with the exact type of guy my dad wouldn’t want me to end up with. Worse even. I had to realize I am not above any woman. I am every woman. We all deserve to be treated better.

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We are bombarded with images of Black men holding guns with their daughter and her prom date. Black men are saying, “Respect my daughter, or I will end your life,” but are teaching their sons to be sexually irresponsible. Teaching their sons to be unemotional and detached with women and in their relationships, forgetting that we have to meet up one day.

Who will protect your daughter from someone’s son? A son that was brought up the same way you were. The same way you raised your son to be.

In Beyonce’s “Daddy Lessons,” she explores how her dad taught her to be strong with men. In the chorus she repeats:

“With his gun, and his head held high
He told me not to cry
Oh, my daddy said shoot/
Oh, my daddy said shoot”

Her dad told her to “shoot.” Which is reminiscent of images of daughters and their gun totting dad’s in prom photos.

Later she says:

“When trouble comes to town
And men like me come around”

Her father is preparing her to protect herself from men just like him. Like my father did for me. Like many fathers do for their daughters.

But daughters who have a great relationship with their father want a man just like their him. Daddy’s girls are going through the world looking for men that can live up to the expectations they set,  an expectation that can never be realized because not even our fathers lived up to the hype.

Don’t let the birth of your Black daughter be the first time you respect a Black woman because her being your daughter won’t stop her from being affected by your sins.

Source: http://www.forharriet.com/2016/05/sins-of-father-what-misogynistic-men.html#axzz4CExUWvGwhttp://www.forharriet.com/2016/05/sins-of-father-what-misogynistic-men.html#axzz4CExUWvGw