It has long been confirmed by the scientific community that The Original Black Woman is the Mother of All Humanity. Black Women as the Original Matriarch of the planet have a natural loving, nurturing, and caring nature towards ALL humans often times at our own detriment. This is why many black women feel the need to step in offering support and assistance and be ‘mama’ to EVERYONE when they are in trouble (e.g., facing discrimination or injustices based upon race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, sexuality, etc.); bearing everyone’s burdens and of the world including our own, yet many if not most of these same people we support come up M.I.A. (missing in action) when Black Women are facing discrimination, injustices, unfair treatment or burdened (e.g. depressed, angry, sad) and are in need of support and assistance.
This is when being ‘mama’ and ‘motherly’ turns into mammy-muling which is offering support and assistance to those who do not reciprocate. Black Women have proven ourselves to be the most loyal and supportive people on the planet due our ‘motherly nature,’ however many if not the majority of us are loyal and supportive to a fault, demanding no reciprocation for our our loyalty, time, physical and spiritual support, and resources to people who hate black womanhood, femininity, and humanity. This is how we let our ‘motherly nature’ work against us. In addition, this is why people continue to take advantage of Black Women, including friends and family. It’s a never ending cycle because many of us refuse to see it and then wonder why we remain in the lowly wretched social position, making no progression towards liberation while helping others get theirs liberation. Prime example, in the area of social justice, many use black women’s voices, feet, time, energy and resources to help carry themselves to liberation without thinking about reciprocating. Or in our personal lives carrying freeloading or leeching family members or friends who do not offer NOTHING but their ass to kiss in return.
Despite what many Black Women erroneously think, simply offering services and support out of the “kindness your heart” and our natural need to be ‘motherly’ is not going to get people who hate you to like, love, nor reward you. They will simply use you and use you like an old dirty dust rag as long as YOU allow it.
Yes, Black Women are the Mothers of Humanity in the sense that humanity was birthed from the sacred Black Womb, however we are not obligated to bear and carry the burdens of society and the black community all alone. We are also not obligated to make other people’s issues our own especially, especially considering the very poor state of the Black Woman and Girl Collectives. Black Women and Girls suffer from the what I call the 12 D’s, Misses and the Disses: We are the most misunderstood, mis-educated, misrepresented, misguided, mistreated, disrespected, discarded, disregarded, dismissed, demeaned, degraded, and devalued group on the planet. We have NO business concerning ourselves with the concerns of others especially, especially those who do not care about us.
We need to get REAL busy working on some serious healing and eliminating our issues like internalized racism, sexism, colorism, misogynoir, depression, anger, loneliness, sadness, helplessness, fear, anxiety, etc. We are ONLY obligated to take care of ourselves and our biological children and teenagers (if you have any).
Being mammy, mule, or ‘mama’ IS NOT WORKING NOR WILL HELP Black Women, NEVER. It will only cause (or help hurry along) mental, spiritual, and emotional…..and sometimes physical death. Sometimes mothers need to be nurtured, loved, and cared for and if any body is to be taken care of THE MOST it is ‘THE MOTHER, HER FIRST AND FOREMOST, THE ORIGINAL BLACK WOMAN.’ AS THE FIRST AND ORIGINAL MOTHERS AND MATRIARCHS, WE MUST DEMAND AND COMMAND TO BE NURTURED, LOVED, AND CARED FOR.
As Black Women we need to sit back and examine how our ‘motherly nature’ work against us not for us. Don’t let it get the best of you to the point that you are offering loyalty, support, and resources up so freely to the undeserving. For once, put your selves FIRST AND FOREMOST. We need to adopt a NO LOYALTY OR SUPPORT WITH OUT RECIPROCATION POLICY for anyone who wants our loyalty and support. DO NOT offer it until you have put them to several tests proving. themselves worthy.
“I’m not you mammy, mule, nor mamma!